No, that wasn’t your hard drive conking out for the 69th time. Your stomach needs nourishment, my friend. Whether it be straight-up gaming, livestreaming, or catching Let’s Plays in the backseat, you definitely gotta eat. There’s no other way to go.
Thankfully, we’ve got a quick menu prepared, just in case you have a good case of the munchies. The internet is brimming with food suggestions as far as the mouth can chomp–from “Disgustingly Healthy” to “Diabetes IV – Definitive Edition.” Let’s just say I did what I could to narrow things down so everyone has a good time–and no one’s bowels spontaneously combust. Plus, these food items are (mostly) easy and neat to eat; you won’t have to worry about getting Cheeto dust on your controller (especially if it’s a white PS5 controller).
Chips but with Chopsticks
No cap. This is actually a thing. For good reasons, though.
However, there’s a lot of logic going into this process. Eating chips with your hands can get greasy. The powder from those generic and not-at-all branded cheese curls can mess up the mechanical keyboard that costs more than your laptop. Ever wonder how many times ants become a problem for one’s desktop? Apparently, at least more than once. That’s a code red–Disaster Level: Demon, at least.
Let’s not forget how Light Yagami fared without chopsticks. Remember what happened to him? That could happen to you. Don’t risk it.
You can also use these contraptions made specifically for heathens, but I highly suggest going down the more…cultured route. Your waifus and husbandos will definitely appreciate it. Gambatte, my fellow gaijins.
Spreadables with Crackers or Pretzels
We’re still in crispy territory, but minus much of the grease and cheese powder.
Crackers and pretzels are just great. They can be sweet, savory, or flavorless if you truly want it a blank canvas–the humans molded by Prometheus before the body horror. It’s your own Tabula Rasa of Snackitude, if you will.
The possibilities from there are only limited by whatever’s in your pantry. Chocolate? You got it. Cheese? By all means. Peanut Butter? Your call, brother. If it’ll spread, you won’t be misled. Easy peasy.
Don’t expect any instant gratification, though. You’ll have to spread and arrange accordingly before you head out. Dipping is an option, but think of the surface area you’ll be missing. Can’t be wasteful now.
Bunched Fruits
Health is wealth, after all. But it doesn’t have to be a drag.
You won’t find any kale salads or anything involving wheatgrass here. Not saying they aren’t healthy, but have you tried them? Rhetorical question. Don’t. Have some fruit instead.
Why “bunched”, though? Well, we’re all about creature comforts and quality of life, here. Grab-and-go is a great method to stand by. Besides, all the better fruits come in this category: bananas, berries, grapes–the sweet and tasty kinds.
Sticky Rice Nori Wraps
While it’s less of a snack and more of a meal, it still qualifies–blurring that line between quick lunch and full dinner. It’s filling, but it won’t incapacitate you. Also, you can’t use the heathen chopsticks on these ones. I dare you to try.
We’re kicking things up a notch when it comes to preparation. We’re talking about hypothetical “Can Batman beat Senator Armstrong” levels of prep time here. The process may seem daunting…or a drag, if you’re not too keen on heading to the kitchen. But the experimentation and possible trip to Flavortown is well worth it.
First off, aside from the nori and sticky rice, you can stuff practically ANYTHING into your would-be wraps. Yes, even thumbtacks and broken glass, Mick Foley. Chill out. Jeez.
For as long as its in the kitchen and well within a week of its expiry date, it’s going into the mix. You’re only limited by your pantry inventory and your imagination. So, run wild before walking leisurely back to your room.
Cup Noodles
The El Dorado of snacks. The MacGuyver of meals. A struggling student’s best friend, and probably the reason why your kidneys don’t work like they used to before. Worth it? Totally.
We’re saving this for last due to sheer relatability alone. Having instant cup noodles isn’t a mere task. It isn’t simply part of your routine. It is an EXPERIENCE.
Instant Ramen Noodles in a Cup with Beef Flavoring
We don’t need to be brand-specific here. For as long as it cooks under hot water and comes with seasoning, it’ll get the job done. Customizability is through the roof. Portability is top notch. Prep time? Think Flash, not Batman. Possibility of making a mess? Well, let’s just say I have complete faith in your ability to not spill piping hot soup onto your crotch. It’s one of the best snack-esque meals you can have to quell those hunger pangs. This much, i guarantee.
And again, those heathen chopsticks can do absolutely nothing for you here.
Eat well, my friends.